Breaking up is hard to do

February 10, 2011

My husband isn’t the first guy I dated (sorry, honey), so I know a thing or two about failed relationships—those tension-filled moments toward the end. The avoidance, arguments and angst that come with the ending of something that was once so beautiful and fun.


I am starting to feel like homeschooling is my dying relationship.

Every day I vow that things will be different: We will wake up and have a good day. I won’t raise my voice before breakfast. I won’t sigh heavily (or worse, cry) when things aren’t going according to plan. We will finish early and then lie around and read or bake or play, not run off immediately to an appointment or lesson because “school” has dragged on and on and on.

As if sensing they are near a wounded animal, the kids’ behavior has gotten worse; it’s like they are trying to finish this failed experiment off. The bickering, the name-calling, the outright refusal to do work is making me question my competence as a teacher. As a parent.

When did this all go from pretty great to unbearable?

I know February is a sucktastic month to be a teacher—it is probably why there is a school vacation week planned in the public schools—-maybe everyone is ready to jump ship? But, I’m not sure if this is just the regular February blahs or a sign of something bigger than what a week off from school can fix.

Today I asked my second grader if she’d like to try public school for the rest of the year. She said yes. I’m not yet sure if this is the right thing to do because I‘m not sure the next relationship (with the school system) will be any better than the one we’re in right now.

And I don’t want to spend the rest of my days wishing we had stuck it out with the “relationship” we’re in right now and not given up when things went downhill. My oldest says it in a way that breaks my heart:

I don’t want to give up on you, mom.


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Before my phone starts ringing, let me say that we are not 100% sure about sending any of the kids to school at this point. Something has to change, though, for this to work in the long term—-it may mean leaving the virtual school or leaving homeschooling entirely—or maybe we’ll find our groove and be ok. We’re committed to this virtual school through June, and after that, we’ll reassess what our options are.
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Filed Under: Fairly Odd Me, Homeschooling 23 Comments

Homeschooling in a public school world

February 7, 2011

It’s been almost two months since we started with MAVA, the new virtual public school in Massachusetts. The lack of new posts on this blog should be an indication that it is, indeed, kicking my butt.


But, I’m kind of enjoying the butt-kicking, in some weird way. It feels good to have a plan, to check off items as we do them, to track our progress more concretely than we were before.

But, there are definitely growing pains in this new school, both at our home and throughout the program. My girls would rather play than do school (shocking, I know). They complain about how long it takes, forgetting that things move so much quicker if they don’t w-h-i-n-e at every step.

And, my poor son. I’m still struggling to keep him busy and learning and engaged while wrapped up with my other two.

Outside of our home, the only other family I knew in real life who was enrolled in MAVA recently quit. The public school’s beating drum that says “move forward, move forward” thrown on top of K12’s vigorous curriculum (which is, ironically, all about “mastering tasks at your own pace”) got to be too much for them.

Aye, there’s the rub, as Shakespeare would say.

It’s hard to marry the homeschooling lifestyle with the public school mentality. The public school wants us to finish at least 80% of all of our subjects by the end of June, never mind that we joined more than 20% into the school year. Never mind that I was already doing school with the kids in September, October and November, not lying on the couch wondering how they’d get educated.

The public school wants 80% complete, but K12 says “mastery, mastery”. So how does one move forward if a child is stuck? How can I spend an extra week on long division when the clock is ticking?

Report cards were just issued that were based solely on what percentage of the program is complete in each subject. I’d say we did fair. Each girl got one “W”, or Warning grade. Belly got hers in Art, which is funny given that the girl takes three hours of art classes each week, but alas, her progress in the program lags a bit behind.

Jilly got her “W” in History, a subject we have always kicked ass in up until now. I like the K12 History program, it just gets shuffled aside a little bit in an attempt to get to math-reading-spelling-grammar-french-science-art. But, again, it feels funny to see a “W” in a subject that I’ve loved enough to do well into the summer each year.

I asked our “teacher” (more on this later), what will happen if we are at, say, 65% at the end of June. Will they kick us out? “No!” she replied quickly, but then admitted she isn’t sure what that means for us. I know they want the kids to stay on grade level, but I don’t really care if my 4th grader becomes a 5th grader in September, December or March of next year.

I care that my kids learn and understand the work.

I don’t want to outright quit in frustration though. I want to see where we end up in June and then take stock in our family life, our homeschooling life and our place in MAVA. Maybe there will be a place for us next September, maybe there won’t. But, it’s too early to stop now.
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Filed Under: Fairly Odd Kids, Homeschooling, MAVA 7 Comments

Target practice

December 19, 2010


It’s no big secret that I’m not a super-confident homeschooler. Maybe if my kids’ orders had been reversed, I’d be different, but I didn’t get my early reader/early math lover until my third child, leaving me to believe that I absolutely suck at teaching my own kids.


The truth is, kids learn at different rates, and nothing taught me that with more sweaty palms than my oldest needing until she was about seven years old to read a book. And though I believe that kids learn at different rates, I’ve always wondered if maybe she just needed a different teacher to get through to her. . .



Hence, one of the reason we DO have another teacher, through our new virtual school.


But, one thing just happened that has given me a huge confidence boost and made me feel even better about our past four years as a homeschooling family: I found out my girls are On Target.


Just last week, they both were required to complete Scantron assessment tests in Reading and Math. After they finished, I sat back and waited to hear the worst: Your Children Have Learned Nothing At Home.


The results came through yesterday and with my husband looking over my shoulder, I nervously read the letter explaining the three segments each childs’ score can fall into: At Risk, On Target, and Advanced.


They were On Target, both girls, in Math and Reading in their respective grades!


I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve gone back to look at these scores, making sure my eyes didn’t trick me, making sure I was comparing their scores against the right chart. Even in the individual “skills” breakouts, there were no glaring issues to indicate that they are majorly deficient in any area.


So, no extra “classes” or worksheets or worries.

OK, I’ll still worry.

But, I feel a heck of a lot better now knowing that I got them this far, and feel relatively confident that I can get them through the next few years with one little step forward at a time.

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Filed Under: Fairly Odd Kids, Fairly Odd Me, Homeschooling, MAVA 3 Comments
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