Though I think the internet is about 85% great and 15% gak-awful-horror, my ratios change quite a bit when I think about my kids being on it.
I mean, have you ever read the comments on a YouTube video? Even an adorable :10 film of a puppy chasing a kitten will have someone saying, “Your a f*cker and suc* donkey b*lls”. Doesn’t anyone remember that “you’re” needs an apostrophe? Makes me weep for humanity.
In our home, we have parental controls on everything from the laptops to my iPhone. The kids know that YouTube is verboten unless I am with them. And only my 11 year old has an email account, and no way/no how are they getting on Facebook anytime soon.
But, they are now old enough to leave the house on their own, those darned growing-up kids. And, I no longer accompany them on every play date. They even have friends with their own devices: iPod Touches, iPads, and access to their home computers.
So now what? If I find them huddled around a device in my presence, I tell them to shut it off and go outside to play. But, when I’m not there? Now what?
I’ve thought about approaching parents and asking, “Do you have parental controls on your kids’ devices?” But then I think I’ll go from being That Weird Homeschooling Parent, to That Weird Overprotective, Nosy, Pushy Homeschooling Parent (who doesn’t let her kids read The Hunger Games).
My husband has asked a friend for a copy of the Internet Contract he’s had his kids sign. I like this idea though I think any memory of a “contract” probably goes out the window as soon as a friend says, “You’ve GOT to see this!“
How do you mamas of older kids handle this? Do you tell your kids’ friends to put away the devices in your home? Host every play date so they are always under your roof? Lock them in their room until they are 18? (Oh I could never do that. I read Flowers in the Attic.)
But, seriously, I’d really appreciate your input on this one. When my oldest expressed frustration at me when I was talking this over with her, I said, “Listen, this is new territory. There WAS NO INTERNET when I was a child.”
“Wait? Not even email?”
Sigh. These kids don’t really understand.
What are your internet rules?
FollowWordless Wednesday: Better than a funhouse mirror
Just a sampling of the lovely images I found yesterday when I downloaded the photos off my iPhone:
What happens when you don’t interfere
The girls participated in their first-ever Destination Imagination tournament this weekend, and I—as one of Jilly’s Team Managers—came along for the ride.
I’ve already written a bit about DI and how one of the major tenets is that no one can “interfere” with a team. This means that NO ONE—-not family members, friends, other teams’ members, siblings, and most definitely managers—can influence or help a team with their challenge.
This is hard.
Every. Single. Time. my team would practice, the words, “Great Job!” would be out of my mouth before I could stop them. And four pairs of eyes would shoot quickly in my direction while my daughter cried, “MOM! No interference!“
This meant I couldn’t balk when they decided to use cardboard (trash) boxes for 99% of their set and props. I couldn’t tell them to wear better costumes. I couldn’t insist that they repaint a prop, or change their script, or rethink a solution they had come up with as a team.
This was all about the four of these goofballs, ages 7-9, getting up in front of a room of people and five appraisers, and doing their thing while I sat on my hands, teeth clenched together.
And, this little crew who had never done this before? With their “trash” props and backdrop and their spare costumes? But with their own kick-ass idea, awesome poem, and amazing balsa-wood structure? Came in fourth in their regional competition, just a wee bit behind the third-place team.
My oldest daughter, whose performance I had never even seen—who has never, ever done a lick of theater—stood on stage in total character and, at least for me, stole the show. (I can say that as a mama, right?) Her group of giggly, smart, and fabulous 10-12 year old girls tied for fifth place out of 19 teams.
I am so proud of them. And proud of us parents who were able to keep our big mouths shut (most of the time) and keep our hands out of their work.
Turns out, when you don’t interfere, these kids do pretty well on their own.
